What the world needs now is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No not just for some but for everyone.
The words in the song “What the World Needs Now” sung in 1965 by Jackie DeShannon in stand out in these painful days of summer. Covid-19 has caused disease, unease, and fear. The murder of innocent blacks has torn the USA apart. Long supressed rage is bubbling to the surface. Stances have been taken by both sides. The USA is experiencing a lot of racial trauma at this time.
This post is not to discuss racial trauma; there are better people with much more knowledge than I have who can do that. I recommend a free course available on www.Resmaa.com for anyone wishing to be educated on this subject. This post is my thoughts on how we can connect with love.
Love is the magic that holds everything together.
Love is the magic that heals.
Love is the magic that breaks down walls.
Love is the magic that builds opportunities.
Love. Four letters mean so much.
Today I listened to a wonderful Facebook Live video by my friend Joan Kift, in which she described an open hearted conversation she had. When we open our hearts, we feel vulnerable. It takes a tremendous amount of trust to open your heart to another. Joan did this with a man she followed on Facebook; someone she didn’t know. Both parties appproached the conversation with an open heart. It ended up in a 3 hour deep conversation, in which each speaker felt held, listened to, felt.
In these times of trouble, there are those who feel hurt, who feel that they have not been listened to, that they have been marginalized, that they have been abused. All of this is real trauma. The hurt they carry is not only theirs, but the accumulated trauma of many lifetimes as their community was not being seen and valued for their humanity.
So how do we begin healing this? I believe it is through love. We can start by having open hearted conversations with each other. Through these conversations, we can learn to truly value one another.
How to have an open hearted conversation:
SEE: Take the time to truly look at the person with whom you are speaking. Look deeply into their eyes instead of shaking hands (eye gazing can be Covid19 approved, with proper distancing). When you look deeply into someone’s eyes, you become synchronized, and your energy flows between you with ease. If you doubt this, I invite you to watch the YouTube video called Magical Thinking 2, a TED talk by Luke Brady. You will know the magic of looking into another person’s eyes after watching it.
HEAR: Really tune in to hear what the other person is saying. Imagine that you will be asked to recite them on stage. Listen with intensity, trying to capture every nuance. I used to half listen, while formulating my answer as they spoke. That wasn’t truly hearing. If you approach the conversation with an open heart, you will have time to think about how you will respond.
FEEL: Then take a moment to feel what they felt. As an empath, I used to be afraid of feeling someone else’s pain. I have since learned that I can feel their feelings without integrating them into myself. I can feel their feelings so I can understand their perspective; then I can let go of their feelings.
PAUSE: Let their perspective sink in. Open your heart. If you pause for a moment, you are less likely to speak from a reactionary stance. This is the time for you to consider what you will say. You can acknowledge them, and ask for a moment – “Wow, that must have been hard. I want to really think about how I will respond – can I have a moment?”
SPEAK: Truly consider how you can respond through the lens of love. Ask yourself, is this coming from a space of compassion? Does my response carry an understanding of their pain? Will they feel heard? If you can answer yes to these questions, what you speak will be heard with love.
The questions I am suggesting are new ones that I have imposed in a checklist for my blog. If I am going to speak on any topic, I want to do it from a space of compassion and love.
Thank you for reading this. May you be blessed.