Your responses reveal your parenting style is authoritarian.

smiling girl in black and white striped shirt

Understanding the Authoritarian Parenting Style

If you find yourself using a strict, disciplinarian approach with your child, please know—it’s not your fault. Most likely, this is the parenting style you were raised with, passed down by well-meaning parents and relatives who believed they were doing what was best. However, research in child psychology, including the work of Alice Miller, has shown that harsh discipline and rigid control can have lasting negative effects on children’s emotional well-being.

Alice Miller, a renowned psychologist, studied how childhood experiences shape our adult lives. She found that children raised in authoritarian households often suppress their emotions to avoid punishment, leading to struggles with self-worth, anxiety, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships. Psychological studies confirm that excessive control and punishment-based parenting can harm a child’s development, impacting their emotional and mental health well into adulthood.

Negative Outcomes of the Authoritarian Style

  • Low Self-Esteem – Children may feel their worth is based on obedience rather than their intrinsic value.
  • Increased Anxiety and Depression – The fear of making mistakes can create chronic stress.
  • Poor Social Skills – Rigid rules limit a child’s ability to develop independent thinking and problem-solving skills.
  • Rebellion or Passive Behavior – Some children react with defiance, while others learn to suppress their needs and emotions.
  • Difficulty with Emotional Regulation – Without the space to express their feelings, children may struggle to manage emotions in healthy ways.

There is a better way. You don’t have to abandon structure, but shifting towards a more balanced, compassionate approach—where boundaries are paired with warmth and understanding—can help your child grow into a confident, emotionally resilient adult. Let’s explore how you can create a healthier dynamic while still guiding your child with love.

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A New Path Forward

Parenting is a journey, and it’s never too late to grow and adapt. While the authoritarian style may have been the norm in past generations, we now understand its lasting effects on children’s emotional well-being. The good news is that small shifts can make a big difference. By balancing structure with warmth, guidance with understanding, and discipline with connection, you can create a home where your child feels safe, valued, and heard.

You have the power to break old cycles and build a healthier, more compassionate way of parenting—one that nurtures confidence, emotional resilience, and a lifelong bond of trust. Your child doesn’t need perfection; they need your love, your presence, and your willingness to grow alongside them.

One Step Toward Positive Change: Embrace The Parent’s Promise

One of the ways you can begin to shift your parenting style is by embracing The Parent’s Promise, a key element featured in each book of the Bella Santini Chronicles series. The promise contains core elements of compassionate parenting that, when embraced, can help create a nurturing environment where both you and your child can grow together.

By committing to the principles of the Parent's Promise, you can start to build stronger, more trusting relationships with your child, fostering an atmosphere of emotional safety and open communication. These small but meaningful changes can make a world of difference in how your child feels and responds, helping to break old cycles and lay the foundation for a healthier, more balanced parenting approach.

The Parents Promise

I will love you unconditionally.

I will listen to you and respect your opinion.

I will respect you as an individual and allow you to follow your path.

I will allow you to make your own mistakes, knowing you will learn from the experience.

I will remind you you are loveable when you are feeling mad or sad; you are worthwhile when you make mistakes; you are a valuable human being, a gift to the world.

I will love you unconditionally.

Take Action Today:

  • Empower Your Child: Dive into the enchanting world of The Bella Santini Chronicles, where magic meets emotional intelligence. These captivating stories will guide your child through the complexities of emotions, helping them develop essential life skills.
  • Nurture Their Growth: By reading these books together, you'll not only strengthen your bond but also provide your child with the tools to navigate life's challenges with confidence and compassion.

Together, let's plant seeds of wellness and watch our children flourish into compassionate, resilient individuals.

Buy the Chronicles Now