The secret to living your best life is to learn how to be content, in every circumstance. This is a controversial statement, some will say “How am I supposed to be content when this part of my life sucks?” They then will list all the circumstances that keep them from feeling content. I am not pointing any fingers; I used to be that person – focused on what was wrong. This misguided tactic was very effective in keeping me in my misery. The Law of Attraction is perfect in its execution – the Universe brings you more of what you focus on. If I focus on misery, I get more misery. If I focus on beauty, I see more beauty.
For much of my life, I focused externally. They were not treating me right; they were mean to me. I was focused on my ex-husband, or my job, or how the world treated me. I was adept at figuring out what “they” did wrong. This practice kept me in a state of victimhood; for I had no control over what “they” did. My continued perspective of inadequate or unfair treatment by outsiders was the root of my discontentment.
Over the past three years, there have been many events that brought me a huge perspective shift. My family lost everything in a wildfire. I left my ex-husband, still blaming him for our unhappiness. Later, I left a job I thought of as toxic to pursue my dream. At each stage of this journey, I started out by pointing my fingers, justifying my decisions; because of what “they” did. My perspective shift started when a book editor counseled me about victim energy; she noted that a story I had contributed contained justification for my victim’s perspective. Under her tutelage, I searched for meaning; I searched for understanding. I read blogs and books. Somewhere I ran across a blog that discussed karma and soul contracts. I read it with my heart open, and I began to understand. This was the missing key for me!
Rising above circumstances
When I was able to rise above myself and see my situations from the perspective of soul growth, I was finally able to rise out of victim mentality. I understood that my ex and I had a soul contract, made so that our souls could experience the pain and misunderstanding that we inflicted on each other. No longer was he the bad guy; I understood that my soul had invited the experience into my life for the purpose of soul growth. And equally, his soul had invited the experience for the growth of his soul.
Please, do not misunderstand; I am not saying that victims are to blame for their pain. What I am saying is that when I viewed my situations from the soul perspective and soul choice, I was finally able to see that I had the power to change everything. I began to understand that everything that triggered me was triggered because I had a wound that needed healing. I didn’t need to forgive him, there was nothing to forgive. He was simply being my mirror, showing me the wounds I had inside. By showing me these wounds, he was helping me see what I needed to work on.
What would have happened if I had been able to change my perspective before the breakup of my marriage? Would I have been able to see him as a hero in my life, someone working to help me heal? Further, did my perspective of him as the bad guy affect his behavior towards me? I firmly believe that the perspective I held in my former marriage was partially responsible for the behavior exhibited. Perspective is everything!
Choosing my perspective
Our perspective is something we have control over; it is our choice on how we see things. I have been having calendar glitches; the time zone conversion has been off by an hour on some of my meetings. This morning my calendar calculated that a meeting I had with a podcaster in Arizona would start a 4:00 am my time. I got up at 3:45, prepped, and opened zoom; only to discover that the meeting wasn’t to start until 5:00 am. I could have viewed this as awful; but instead, I chose to see the gift of quiet time. I had an hour to sit with my coffee and practice being, while I watched the sunrise. It was 22 degrees; the sky blossomed from night to light; it was amazing! I would have missed that sunrise if my calendar had converted the time correctly. Instead of being frustrated with technology, I can choose to see the gift of time I was given.
Living your best life is a choice, based on the perspective you adopt. Is there a perspective shift you can make that could improve your living circumstances?