For those children of the 1970s and 1980s (myself included), we have heard many times, "Be here now!" the EST founder Werner Erhard's calling card. I used to scoff a little at that phrase, I mean, how can we be anywhere else than where we were? What I didn't understand at that time was that I believed that "everything about me right now is based on my past." In bringing my past to my present, I would respond to present circumstances with all of the trauma from my past.
The more I dive into consciousness, the more important it seems to be in the present moment. I recently listened to a lecture by Jim Self, a transformational leader, in which he illustrated the concept perfectly:
"If you were to be really awake in the middle of the winter, and all of a sudden you fall asleep for five or six months. When you wake up, all you know is the winter, and you will start arguing with the summer - it is not what you know, it is not right, "My past tells me that this is not right."
Jim Self, Mastering Alchemy
He goes on to comment - "In effect, you are arguing with the past without adequate attention to what is present."
As I consider his commentary, I cannot help but look back on my former marriage, and wonder, if we had both been in the present, could we have discussed issues without it devolving into a massive argument? I know that I experienced many times when my ex-husband's responses really had nothing to do with the issue under discussion, he was responding from a place of past trauma. I also did that, bringing my childhood trauma and insecurities into my present day discussion, reacting to past trauma rather than responding to the issue.
Most adults have past trauma. The situations happened. But they are in the past. I had the early childhood trauma of being separated from my parents for several months at the age of four, a consequence of a severe trauma of having my family home burn down. This trauma formed my approach to life, guarding my heart, being defensive, not loving myself, reacting rather than responding.
I have now reached the point where I ask myself -How does it benefit me to bring past trauma to my current day relationships? The answer is that it has no benefit, in fact, it further injures me. My healing started with a perspective shift, when I began to understand that everything that happened to me was a growth lesson that made me the person I am today. With this perception, I was empowered to let go of blame, and shift my perspective to gratitude.
This is a quantum leap that I happened to accomplish fairly quickly. I am lucky in that. I know that this is a tall order for many. However, a journey from blame to gratitude is so beneficial, I would recommend it.
Please keep in mind that every journey begins with one step. No one expects that you can simply flip the switch to accomplish a perception shift of this magnitude. Go easy on yourself, give yourself grace. The journey is different for everybody. All that matters is that you chose the journey for your benefit, and you take it step by step.
My journey began when I was researching forgiveness. I read several articles on Ho'Oponopono; I began a daily practice of using the phrase "I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I Love You" with those that I hurt, and those that hurt me. This is a powerful practice that I encourage you to look into.
Daily meditation has helped me immensely to be mindful, and to be in the present moment. Other benefits include a deep sense of calm and wellness. In an effort to help my supporters, I have uploaded several guided meditations to my website store. I encourage you to try the free Grounding and Clearing meditation.
My wish for you is health and happiness. Be blessed.