Fear plays a huge role in the daily lives of many; it can even show up when you feel you are fearless like I thought I was! The other night I was thinking about fear, how our news media feeds fear to the masses, how some religions use the fear of God to control the behaviors of their followers, how politicians promote fear to gain power.

We are also subject to our own fears: fear of not being enough, fear of failure, fear of experiencing feelings we don’t want to feel! Franklin D. Roosevelt so famously said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” So true! Fear of feeling our feelings has caused massive pain in this world. To avoid feelings, many turn to substance abuse, self-harming, even suicide.

Yet, there are less obvious ways we may choose to avoid negative feelings, including mindless television, voracious reading, gaming, sex addiction, any of myriad minor addictions, all to numb us from the pain we wish to avoid.

We fail to realize our resistance actually increases our pain and prolongs our exposure to the very feeling we wish to avoid. Our attempt to repress what we may call “negative” feelings may drive us to our addictions. Our addictions drive behaviors that can create problems that increase those very feelings—an unfortunate Catch-22.

When we are in fear, we are in resistance to that which is present in our lives, or sometimes to that which might become present. We have all heard that what we resist persists. A truism if there ever was one. Fear can serve a great purpose when it alerts us to danger. If fear stopped there, we would all be better off.

Fear weaves itself into the fabric of our lives; it holds power over us. Many, many lives have been destroyed over the fear of feeling. My father was so afraid to feel; he drowned himself in alcohol. His addiction created a monster out of him. His family experienced his terrifying behavior, which resulted in a lifetime of issues for his kids.

And yet, opening ourselves to feeling all of our feelings is a way to freedom and joy. Feelings are simply energy; when acknowledged, they are brought into the light. When allowed, they flow without restriction. When accepted, they lose their power over us; we can now take control.

It can be terrifying to face our feelings when they are overwhelming, built up through avoidance. The key is to start somewhere. Surrender to what you feel in your fear of feeling. Acknowledge it, Allow it, Accept it. It is perfectly acceptable for you to feel this way. Breathe, and let it go.

Please think of this as peeling an onion; it may take several sessions for you to gain mastery over your feelings. Once you are comfortable with your fear of feeling, you can move on to feeling one of your “negative” feelings.  Start small and slowly work up to the biggest feeling you wish to avoid. Keep in mind that the avoidance of feeling is the cause of much pain in your life and the world.

If you are overwhelmed by the idea of feeling your feelings, you can get support. A therapist or an energy practitioner can help. I am a certified Quantum Energy Practitioner, and I have been imbued with the energy of Reiki level one. I am opening my schedule to take on a few clients. To schedule a discovery session, please click here.



Angela Legh

Angela Legh is the author of the Bella Santini Chronicles, a children's book series that plant seeds of emotional well-being. Each book of the series takes children on a journey of self-discovery.

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