I am compelled to write about the importance of feelings; because feelings and perspectives are the raw material from which we build our reality. Feelings are energy; they tend to flow and can be fleeting, lasting about 90 seconds. Emotions, also energy, can stay forever if we engage the feeling and hold onto it. The energy begins as a feeling – if I am neutral, watching the feeling like a witness, the feeling quickly dissipates. If I am reactive, I either try to escape or I engage the feeling.
When I reject a feeling, I either repress or try to escape it. But there is no true repression nor escape, because the energy stays with me. The energy is stored in my cellular structure and now becomes an emotion. The emotion revisits me; it is stuck; I did not allow it to flow.
I reject the emotion each time it arises. Every time I reject the emotion, the emotion’s stored energy builds. The emotion may become so overwhelming that I become desperate to escape. I seek ways to numb the feelings.
When I engage in a feeling, I hold onto it. In the extreme, I may make the feeling part of my identity. In this way, the feeling now rules my life. Living becomes difficult as the overwhelming emotion influences my decisions.
Our society has, for generations, handed children the idea that they must escape or repress their feelings. I know from my own experience, that a person can both engage and reject a feeling. Based on events in my childhood I chose to reject the feeling of anger. I escaped and repressed it; which had some terrible consequences. But I also engaged the feeling by becoming very reactive to anyone who publicly exhibited anger. If I had learned to become neutral to the feeling, I could have allowed everyone, including myself, to experience their feelings of anger.
So how do we become neutral to our feelings? One very powerful method is to AAA the feeling – Aware, Acknowledge, Accept; a technique taught by Dr. Donald Epstein of EpiEnergetics. He so beautifully phrased what I had been teaching using other words, and his method is so easy to remember; I have adopted it!
To AAA a feeling, you must be Aware of the energy of the situation that brought up the feeling, as well as the energy of the feeling, without wanting to change it. Sense the energy; notice how it feels, notice where it is. Acknowledge the energy; feel its presence; you can even give it a name. Accept the energy of the situation as well as the feeling – sometimes things happen. When you take these actions, you become a witness to the feeling, you let go of attachment or rejection. The energy is allowed to flow, and you will find that it soon dissipates. Becoming neutral to your feelings can slowly help you to release the triggers in your life.